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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926856">Empire Ants</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderfuel/pseuds/murderfuel'>murderfuel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Mild Gore, Nen (Hunter X Hunter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:33:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderfuel/pseuds/murderfuel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For years you desired to become a Phantom Troupe member with one goal in mind; to kill every last member. You find yourself falling in love with Chrollo despite everything in your body telling you not to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. GUILTY AS CHARGED</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first multi chapter fics so it might feel a little wonky. I hope you enjoy this story nonetheless it was really fun to write!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Woman dead at the hands of the infamous criminal group, the Phantom Troupe</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Thousands dead in city massacre</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Museum robbed of all-important artifacts, an investigation begins.</i>
</p><p>You had read all of the headlines. They brought pure joy to you. You knew the Phantom Troupe; you envied them, you wanted to be them, you wanted to kill them. You desired to be apart of their group; to inflict pain and harm on others. You were wicked, you loved blood on your hands, and stolen jewelry on your body. There was nothing you adored more. Murder was a fine art that you had mastered.</p><p>You knew of the leader. It had taken years on end to figure out his identity. You had stalked him, gathered information from Meteor City residents. Chrollo Lucifer, you had said after finding out his identity. You loved the way his name rolled off your tongue. You didn’t know his appearance; you had fragments of a whole. You had painted an image in your head, a tall man in his late 30’s, eyes dark and heavy, his smile hiding secrets, muscular frame. He was a dream in your head; everything you wanted to be and more. </p><p>Sitting on the rooftop of your home, you admired the view. Red lit the sky, flames dancing in the air. Yet another fire had been set. You watched in awe; no matter how many buildings burned before you, you would never get sick of it. The flames danced as the smell of smoke filled your nostrils. Oh, how you loved this. You were addicted to chaos in every shape and form. Screams echoed off the street walls as people ran away from the growing fire. </p><p>“Enjoying the view? A man said from behind. You jumped at the sound. You couldn’t believe you let your guard down, especially when a building burned in front of you. You turned to look at the man. </p><p>The shadows hid his face, but you could still make out his frame. He was tall, wrapped in a coat. You could hear his gentle footsteps, the footsteps of a killer, come closer to you. He sat down next to you.</p><p>“Arson has always had a special place in my heart.” You said. He laughed at that.</p><p>“I can’t say I disagree as I was the one that set the fire.” Your mouth widened in a half gasp. Why weren’t you surprised? This man had the workings of the killer, though he looked like an ordinary citizen. </p><p>“Did you now?” You grinned, looking at him. </p><p>“I did. Well, not just me, my Troupe helped me out.” The gears in your head clicked into place, so this was the leader of the Phantom Troupe. He didn’t look at all like what you expected. He was young and lighthearted, not old, and twisted. But why was he telling you this? A killer never revealed their secrets or what they did. Shit. You jumped up and began to run away. Chrollo was in front of you in an instant. He trumped you in speed and power.</p><p>His hand gripped around your wrist. His tender outside had tricked you. Now you could see him for what he was; a man overtook with evil; he no longer felt emotions to innocent civilians. </p><p>“Let me go.” You demanded. With one free hand, you reached into your pocket to grab your knife. His hands seized your hands before you could grab your weapon.</p><p>“I know what you’ve been doing. You think I wouldn’t notice the young girl following my gang around. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are. How long have you been doing this? More than a few months, surely. After all, I noticed you almost a year ago. You’re lucky I kept you alive this long. I won’t hesitate to kill you. Or maybe I’ll let Feitan have the honours of torturing you to death. Oh my, that sounds like a good plan.”</p><p>“Chrollo, I’m on your side.” </p><p>His eyes darkened. “How the hell do you know my name?” </p><p>Now it was your turn to smile. “Maybe you should’ve killed me all those months ago. I found out your name and some names of the member of your troupe. You were a sacrifice from your mother. Is that correct?” Everyone knew of Chrollo’s back story; his mother kidnapped by a group of young thieves she offered her son in exchange for her life. The thieves took the child and killed Chrollo’s mother. They raised Chrollo until he was independent enough to care for himself. When he found out about his upbringing, Chrollo took people under his wing. He wouldn’t let them experience the same fate he had. </p><p>“Yes,” Chrollo said. He should’ve known it wasn’t difficult to gain information on him if you were a Meteor City resident.</p><p>“What about your precious little friends? Feitan, Pakunoda, Phinks, Machi. What are the tragic backstories that required them to be saved by daddy Chrollo?” You knew you shouldn’t push him over the edge; he could kill you with his bare hands in under 30 seconds.</p><p>He gave you a sharp slap to your face. It stung, red blazing across your cheek. </p><p>“Keep my friends’ names out of your mouth. You don’t know anything.” Chrollo was genuinely enraged. Your words had struck him straight in the heart.</p><p>“Aw, what are you going to do? Kill me? Good luck with that.” </p><p>“Getting cocky, are we?” He landed a chop on your neck. You slipped into unconsciousness.</p><p>The last thing you see before you pass out is Chrollo, and the first thing you see when you wake up is Chrollo.</p><p>You looked at your surroundings; a group of people all sat around your body on large slabs of stone. You’re tied to the ground, restraints over your arms and legs. You squirmed in place, trying to break free.</p><p>“No point in doing that. You’ll never be able to escape.” An eyebrowless man said to you. </p><p>You spat. Chrollo was looking down at you with slitted eyes.</p><p>“Hmm, you didn’t put up much of a fight as I thought you would. I’m disappointed that you talked that much trash only to be taken out by a simple chop.” </p><p>“I didn’t try.” You said. You weren’t lying. You hadn’t even bothered to fight him, you stood a good chance against him, though you didn’t want to kill the man you 'idolized'.</p><p>“Oh, but I do believe you were trying, doll. Any strong person would put up a fight against me.” </p><p>“I wasn’t trying.” You repeated.</p><p>Phinks chimed in. “Why don’t you just fight them to prove who’s right?”</p><p>“That is a great idea,” He turned to you. “Let’s fight then. If you can land a hit on me, I’ll give you a permanent spot in the Troupe if that is what you want.” You wanted that and bad. You wanted to be by Chrollo’s side as you murdered countless people on end.</p><p>Would you succeed in injuring him? He was fast, quick as lightning. You couldn’t match his speed; you were sharp but not as intelligent as him. Chrollo had been killing for over a decade, and you only mere years. You were good at what you did, though; you had learned how to kill effortlessly fast. You had more bodies to your name than years. A kill a day was your life purpose. When you didn’t kill, you felt empty inside. Murder was the one thing that was a constant bringer of happiness in your life. </p><p>“No, Nen. Only physical combat.” You said. That was the only way Chrollo stood a chance. You were skilled in combat, and that was your preferred fighting method. You never used your Nen; it always caused pain and suffering to both you and your victim.</p><p>“Don’t try anything funny,” He said to you. “Untie her.” The last comment was targeted towards Phinks, who obliged. Indents lined your wrist. You cracked your fingers and wrists, popped your neck, and stretched your legs. It was going to take a miracle for you to win your fight against Chrollo.</p><p>“I need a minute to prepare.” You said to Chrollo. He nodded his head, permitting you to do as you needed.</p><p>You closed your eyes and imagined the sea. Waves crashing on the shore. The sand underneath your toes. A voice called out to you, your fallen mother. She signaled you over to her place in the water. You swam towards her; your clothes clung to your body. You kept moving backward, more and more out of your reach. You called out to her, but she didn’t answer. The water below you became a black pool. An invisible hand pulled you deeper and deeper. Water filled your lungs. You couldn’t breathe. Your mom yelled out for you in a language you couldn’t grasp.</p><p>“You want this?” She asked in English. You didn’t want this. No. No No. She smiled at you, eyes widening in delight. “I’m glad to hear that!” You screamed. You couldn’t escape this hell; she haunted your dreams. She was your devil. </p><p>You had to meet her before every fight; if you didn’t, she would kill you in your sleep. After each kill, she visited you with a happy smile and a wilting flower. Only in those times was she genuinely proud of you. Her little creation doing her work for her even in death. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape. She was what came along with your Nen power. Your condition. </p><p>She had died a brutal death when you were four. You remembered bits and pieces of your childhood and how kind she was, but that was overshadowed by how she was in your dreams, the complete opposite. She was wrapped in a dark fog that suffocated you and ruined your vision. She was your biggest enemy.</p><p>When was the last time she hadn’t haunted your mind? You couldn’t remember. As far back as you could go, she was in your head. She never left you. Even when you weren’t at the beach, you could feel her sinister presence. She was always waiting for you in your moments of weakness. You couldn’t even daydream without her coming to attack you. </p><p>She was not the mother you once knew. She was a creature of Hell. A devil in disguise. She meant nothing to you; you felt no emotional attachment to her. You wanted her to die another death so you could finally be at peace.</p><p>The muddy sand underneath you opened into a bigger hole. You fell into a dry cave. Your clothes stuck to you, and your hair dripped with fresh saltwater.</p><p>“Are you ready to return to the real world?” Your mom asked, her eyes flooding with black ink. </p><p>“Yes.” Black dripped from your eyes onto the ground.</p><p>“Why must you hurt me like this? Why won’t you just stay?” She asks these questions every time. You never answered her. You enjoyed watching her suffer in pain. Her body contorted into a wide variety of shapes. </p><p>You woke with a jerk. Your breath heaved with an erratic rhythm Water exited the world with you, splashing at Feitan and Phinks. Feitan had his hands around your neck in an instant.</p><p>“What did you just do?” He asked, grip tightening. </p><p>“Nothing. I slept and woke up.” You lied. </p><p>“I can tell if you’re lying whore. All it takes is Paku.” He pushed down on your windpipe.</p><p>“That isn’t necessary, Feitan,” Chrollo said. He tossed off his coat revealing two-toned arms in a sleeveless top. “No matter what they just did, I’ll still beat them.” Chrollo was getting overconfident. He didn’t have a victory guaranteed. The leader had a far bigger ego than you had anticipated.</p><p>“You won’t. I’ll leave you bleeding out.” You spat, tone acidic as ever.</p><p>Chrollo laughed at your comment. “Feitan, can you tell me the last time someone managed to make me bleed in a fight?”</p><p>“3 months ago, a Pro Hunter managed to stab you before you killed him.” Chrollo was indeed skilled. It took a lot of talent to go months on end within sustaining injuries from another person while being a killer.</p><p>“I hope now you can understand why you’ll lose.”</p><p>You laughed a steady laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up. You have a slight advantage. I’ll beat your ass. </p><p>Chrollo’s face darkened. “Then do it.” </p><p>You lunged at him. He dodged, pulling out his Ben’s knife. Shit. You should’ve said weapons were against the rules. If you were lucky, you still had your blade tucked away. You weren’t lucky. He jabbed his knife at you. You narrowly avoided his attack. You bounced off of the walls. His eyes followed you. He grabbed your ankle before you could hit him. He slammed you down. </p><p>You could taste blood. The other Troupe members backed away, giving the two of you more room to fight. Rage was overcoming you; you needed to calm down and fast, or corpses would surround you. </p><p>“Nobody said anything about using weapons.” </p><p>“Oh, I don’t need it to defeat you. I could kill you with two fingers.” He tossed the knife behind him and went into an attack stance. You dashed yet again. You landed a single punch, him groaning in response.</p><p>You landed on the ground. “There, I landed a hit on you.”</p><p>“That you did.” Chrollo straightened. “Feitan, get your tattoo stuff.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. HEART OF GLASS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter shows you growing closer to Chrollo on a mission as well as diving into a fragment of your past</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter involves a lot of killing! So if that makes you uncomfortable I suggest you skip this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were adjusting to being a Troupe member quite well. You now sported a spider tattoo with the number 12 in the center on your back. You learned the rules of the Troupe within a day, playing them over and over again in your head.</p><p>
  <i>All legs are equal in the ranking.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The head’s orders are the utmost priority.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Fighting between the legs is forbidden.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Only the head can add new members. However, a leg can suggest a candidate they see fit.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The group as a whole trump a single individual.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>You never broke these rules, not even the fighting one; you obeyed Chrollo’s every command. For the first month, you were in the Troupe, you stayed alongside Chrollo, going on all of his missions and learning. Not a single member of the Troupe knew of your Nen ability; you would’ve preferred it stay that way. When you refused to tell Chrollo, you were met with harsh punishment. </p><p>Feitan was allowed to torture you as long as he pleased. Three days was as long as he was interested in you. At the end of your punishment, you had a broken arm and one less tooth. Chrollo never bothered you about your Nen ability after that; when you were ready to show the Troupe, you would.</p><p>Once you left Chrollo’s side to thrive on your own, you grew close with some of the other members. Pakunoda, Shizuku, Uvogin, and yourself had become quick friends. You all enjoyed going on missions together, killing together, cleaning up the mess together.</p><p>Chrollo gathered you, Feitan, Uvogin, and Machi for a new mission. You were going to find a worthy sacrifice and use them to gain new powers and information. Your skills weren’t right for this mission, you were just an extra body, but Chrollo enjoyed your presence. </p><p>You revisited your mother, asking her who the perfect target was, a Hunter, by the name of Yama. You relayed this information to Chrollo, who questioned how you knew he was the ideal target, you couldn’t tell him it was because of your dead mother, he would think you were insane. You gave a half-assed answer to him, rambling on about how he’s a Pro Hunter that would put up a fight. </p><p>You looked up his name, address, and Nen ability. Chrollo would love to steal his power. You would like to have a real fight; it had been a while since you’d had a good old fashioned duel, none of your victims ever put up a fight. You’re hands and body itched for a fight to the death. You wanted to be on the verge of extinction. To come out victorious while you slipped away from Earth. </p><p>You were too good to fight frequently. You killed people in an instant; heads sliced off, throats slit, skulls crushed. Bodies piled up at your feet before you had the chance to think about fighting. You had skills well above the general population. You could best ⅘ in a fight without even batting an eye. </p><p>Chrollo also itched for a fight; he managed a kill a day. Nobody could match him in a fight, not even other members of the Troupe. Anyone that had once stood a chance against him in a fight was either in the Troupe or dead. Or a member of the Zoldyck’s, but that was a different story for a different time. </p><p>Yama was an easy man to track down; he never went into hiding, showing his face everywhere; he was a walking ad; information on him was easy to obtain on the Hunter website. In mere minutes you knew everything about him. You had met him once before; he had mistaken you for a waitress, and when you didn’t serve him, he became enraged. He was not a nice man to put it in simple terms. He was just as much of a criminal as the Phantom Troupe. He hid his crimes behind the face of the Hunter Association. He could get away with anything and everything. Everyone thought he was terrific, like a classic painting, but underneath the beautiful paint strokes was a darkness that wasn’t seen by the average eye. Yama was despicable, cruel, and corrupted.</p><p>Yama killed a member of the Phantom Troupe a few years after it’s beginning. For hours after it happened, Chrollo was a sobbing mess, a puddle of tears gathered at his feet. Nobunaga had been one of his closest friends at the time; their relationship as thick as blood. Chrollo didn’t know who had taken Nobunaga from him, yet he sought revenge. Chrollo’s soul lost a piece as he went back to Nobunaga’s grave every year on the anniversary of his death. </p><p>The Troupe had a unique tradition in place for when a member of the Troupe died. They burned the body but not before taking something to remember them with. Nobunaga was no exception; they cut off his right hand, the hand he had used for killing. They made him a memorial, putting his urn in front of his makeshift grave—flowers placed in front of his grave, coreopsis, a cheerful flower for a pleasant individual. Chrollo had kept the funeral short; he couldn’t bear to talk about Nobunaga’s death; it was all too painful to him. His heart ached with the pure wanting of Nobunaga being alive. It felt as if he had Nobunaga shaped daggers pointed at his heart.</p><p>Nobunaga wasn’t the only member that Yama had gone after. He attempted to kill Feitan in a fight. By the end of it, Feitan had returned with a broken arm and an attitude. He didn’t speak to anyone for the weeks after while he recovered. Yama was going to pay. Nobody pulled one over on Feitan.</p><p>The five of you all rode in a stolen car to Yama’s location: it was cramped, Uvogin took up nearly two seats, and Feitan pressed up onto you. Chrollo insisted on using the car instead of a more practical vehicle. <i>Trust me. The car is the best choice,</i> he had said before getting on the driver’s side. <i>It’ll all make sense later. I promise.</i> A promise from Chrollo was a rare thing; he never held his word; therefore, promises were empty to him. When he assured you that something was right, it was right. A commitment from a thief was on a whole other level; they meant more. When has a criminal ever kept their word?</p><p>Uvogin had a silly smile plastered across his face. He was ready to get his hands dirty. Everyone else in the car had an even expression. Machi didn’t care for this mission all too much; she was only coming with them to act as a healer if things took a wild turn of events. Feitan was irritated, not only at this mission where he wouldn’t get the chance to kill Yama himself but also at the fact he had to go on a long trip to a boring meeting. Chrollo didn’t feel anything; he was unaware Yama had killed Nobunaga. He was indifferent about this whole plan. There was one reason why he was even coming along; you. </p><p>Uvogin was rambling about one of his latest kills, nobody was listening to him, but the background noise was beautiful, peaceful even. The car ride went on for ages; you were going four cities over. You couldn’t wait to get your hands on Yama.</p><p>“We’re here,” Chrollo said, putting the car in park. A building stood before you; all dazzled out for the Hunter meeting. Yama was going to give a speech on the rules and regulations of Zaban city. If things were going according to the plan, his speech should’ve been beginning in a few minutes.</p><p>You and the rest of the Troupe walked into the building. Yama stood on the stage, testing his microphone. Four Hunters stood behind him, arms crossed in front of them. The Troupe separated everyone, taking place in a different section of the room.</p><p>“Welcome ladies and gentlemen, today I will lead this meeting. I would first like to discuss crime rates. They’ve reached an all-time high. Last month alone, we had deaths in the ten thousand. Arson has gone up—buildings burnt to a crisp. Smoke fills the air. This is an issue. I’d like to fix this issue by adding a new city rule. Any man or woman caught with matches or any other material that could start a fire will be killed on the spot.” He began.</p><p>The crowd erupted in anger.</p><p>“You can’t do that! What about the people that need fire to stay warm! You’re robbing them of heat, and that will cause the death rates to increase!</p><p>Yama chuckled. “Calm down now. Yes, some people need fire to survive, but we also need buildings to survive. With the arson rates increasing, bakeries, grocery stores, hospitals, and homes, are all being burned. If this continues to happen, the city will go into debt.” Chrollo let out a phlegmy laugh. He could start a fire with far lesser than pathetic matches. Yama’s plan wasn’t going to prevent arson one bit. </p><p>Hands went up; everyone had something to say. Yama called on Machi.</p><p>“What if I started a fire right now? What would you do then?” That was the cue. At once, you, Chrollo, Uvogin, Feitan, and Machi sprung into action. You slit the throats of the people beside you. Machi used her needles to control the bodyguards. Gunfire rang out as civilians ducked for cover. Feitan beheaded anyone in his path. Uvogin killed hundreds in seconds. You all laughed at the growing corpses and screams echoing off the walls.</p><p>Yama released his Nen. He had prepared for a fight; none of his meetings ever went peacefully. Chrollo approached him.</p><p>“Yama, might I ask what your Nen ability is?” </p><p>“Yes, you may. After all, you’re going to be dead in minutes. I can turn anything to a jelly-like substance by touching it.” <i>The first condition met.</i></p><p>“That isn’t a strong ability.” A lie. He needed to provoke him to see his Nen in action. </p><p>“Oh, I’ll show you just how strong it is.” Yama bent and touched the ground. Chrollo jumped before the floor below him could change into jelly. He leaped onto a nearby table. <i>The second condition met.</i> All he needed to do was have Yama touch the cover of “A Bandit’s Secret” within the next hour.</p><p>The four Hunters kept you occupied. They were putting up a fight. Feitan was growing enraged at the Hunters; they were difficult, managing to land a hit on him. He was still more robust; he wiped them out, their decapitated bodies sinking in the jelly floor. </p><p>“Need help, Chrollo?” You called out. He shook his head, summoning his book he flipped to the page he needed. Indoor fish. They would end the fight in mere seconds. He released them into the air. They chewed on Yama’s body. Yama didn’t feel any pain, of course, that was the whole purpose of the fish. Chrollo walked closer to the fallen, dying Yama. He grabbed his still intact hand and placed it onto the book cover. <i>Conditions three and four met.</i></p><p>You opened a window making the fish disappear, and Yama die. Chrollo and Feitan had gotten their revenge at last. You, however, did not feel satisfied with this mission, something was off. You could feel it in your bones. Your mother began to whisper in your ear.</p><p>
  <b>Don’t believe what your eyes tell you; they are but another lie.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Yama won’t go down this easily.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Keep your senses sharp. Use them to your advantage. All the best killers have sharp instincts.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>My darling, you cannot let mere images fool you, not a mirror of reality. You have to dig deeper than that. Look at what the corpse in front of you is shouting. How could you let yourself be this stupid?</b>
</p><p>Your mother was just confirming your suspicions. Yama had gone down within minutes; he managed to kill Nobunaga, injure Feitan, so why was he taken down so quickly? You looked at Yama’s corpse. He looked dead; flesh falling off the bone, eyes rolled into the back of his head, face gnawed off. </p><p>“Chrollo!” You called after him. He turned your way with a sweet smile on his face. He had succeeded in stealing another ability; he was happy. Would it be worth it to ruin his fun? You knew you had to warn him; he couldn’t walk away without learning of Yama. You could keep it to yourself, ignoring the issue. Yama could live without his powers. Nobody would listen to him anymore. Without Nen, he was nothing. He would lose his Hunter license, his status among leaders around the world. </p><p>If you told Chrollo about your suspicions, he would question you. He would see you as yet another crazy person spreading nonsense. </p><p>“Nevermind!” You yelled again. It wasn’t worth the risk to tell him. Behind Feitan, Yama’s corpse rose. In one swift movement, Feitan’s head knocked off his shoulders. Yama fell back down, dead for real.</p><p>You gasped at Feitan’s fallen body. Damnit. You should’ve told Chrollo. Why did you not? Why didn’t you just listen to your mother’s warnings? You were the reason that Feitan lay dead in front of you. Feitan’s head rolled to your feet. He felt bile itching at the back of your throat. Your head spun. Puke threatened to leave your mouth. </p><p>“What the hell?” Uvogin said. A silence filled the air, Feitan was dead. Yama had come back from the dead to kill him. One more Troupe member down. You collapsed onto the floor at the sickening sight.</p><p>You were back at the beach; it was different this time. Everything that was once beautiful about it replaced with darkness. The water was thick and red. Blood. It knew of your actions; it mocked you. Broken glass replaced the sand, pricking your feet with every step you took. Feitan stood in front of you.</p><p>“You killed me.” He accused.</p><p>“No, I didn’t! I did, but it was an accident. Please forgive me. Spare me.” You pleaded.</p><p>“It wasn’t an accident. You could’ve saved me. You were given a warning of the secret that was Yama’s second ability. You chose to hide it because of your mother. Why? She haunts your mind for your benefit. If it weren’t for her, you would be dead by now. Why are you so damn, ungrateful? You deserve a punishment.” His voice deepened. Hands reached towards you, pulling at your mouth, your arms, your legs. You were being torn apart. You screamed, but no sound came out. Tears fell into a pathetic heap on the glass. </p><p>“HELP!” You yelled nobody was listening. You were all alone in your hell. Nobody was going to save you; it was pointless. Feitan was going to kill you from the grave. There was nothing you could do about it.</p><p>Your fingernails plucked off of your fingers. Your eyes were torn out of your socket. Blood covered your body.</p><p>“That hurts, does it not? It does. I’m going through worse pain right now, and you don’t even realize it. You’ve damaged me. I miss my old body. I don’t want to be a soul haunting you forever. I want to escape. Help me! Help me, and I’ll stop.” Feitan cried.</p><p>“I can’t help you. I don’t know-how! Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO!” You woke with a scream. You were lying on a bed in the Troupe’s shelter. Your skin painted red with blood. You had pulled it from your sleep. Chrollo said on a chair by your bedside. </p><p>“I have a question for you, Y/N.” He said, closing the book that he was reading. Fuck. He was going to ask you about the blood. How could you explain it? You couldn’t tell him about your Nen ability. </p><p>“Yeah?” Your voice cracked.</p><p>“Why do you wake with blood most days? Not even just blood, you’ve pulled water, eyeballs, weapons out with you. Why is that? You don’t have to answer, e I’m just concerned. Are you dying?” He sounded worried about your wellbeing.</p><p>“I killed Feitan.” You blurted out. You needed to change the topic and fast. You couldn’t tell him about your horrors, your demons.</p><p>“Oh?” He said.</p><p>“I killed him. I teamed up with Yama to kill him. I knew about Yama’s second ability beforehand, and I didn’t warn you. I’m sorry for betraying the spider.” Your lie was perfect; it drew attention away from your dead mother. Who cared if Chrollo killed you? It was better than your secret being outed.</p><p>To your surprise, Chrollo laughed at you. “Let’s stay away from the lies. I just want answers.” Shit. </p><p>You were trapped in a corner. You had to make up an excuse.</p><p>“I’ll tell you but only in my native tongue if you can understand me then you know. If you can’t well, I’m sorry, but that will be the end of this discussion.” You took a deep breath and began speaking in Konenami, your native tongue. “My mother haunts my thoughts. After a deep sleep, I have to bring something back with me, or else she gets angry.” Chrollo nodded along with what you were saying, though he did not understand one word.</p><p>“I suppose you would prefer this to remain a secret. I understand.” He left the room. You could tell he was disappointed that after all those months together, you still didn’t trust him. The sorrow on his face would never leave your mind. For the first time, you had hurt Chrollo.<br/>
Your secrets reminded Chrollo of his childhood. The time when nobody would listen to him because he was a child. The time where the adults that took turns raising him hid his past. He had to find out the secret that was his family by himself. He had to seek it out. He knew deep down that secrets were secrets for a reason, but curiosity always got the best of him.</p><p>You hated yourself to put it in simple terms. You destroyed all of the best things that happened to you; joining the Troupe had been your dream, but as an official member, you took it for granted. You remembered your first kill; you thought about it every day. You tricked your best friend, Angelica, into going into the woods with you. When her back faced you, you wrapped a cord around her neck and strangled her. You had done it because many people around the world wanted her dead, and you needed the money. You could never forget the shocked expression on her face when she realized you had betrayed her.</p><p>After that you lost yourself, you turned into a creature you didn’t like. You killed without reason, and state dup late most nights mourning the death of Angelica. You got better as the years passed, but killing began your hobby. It’s what you did in your free time.<br/>
Angelica was your one friend that you could count on through good and evil. She was always there for you, and you were still there for her. That all ended when you killed her. Ever since that first murder, you didn’t get attached to people, they could be taken from you in an instant. Chrollo was no exception; he may have given you a place in his gang, but the two of you would never make it past acquaintances.</p><p>So why did you feel a connection to Chrollo? Why did you feel as if you could trust him with your life? Could he protect you? No, that wasn’t it. You loved him, and you knew it. He didn’t love you back. Anguish clawed at your heart. You were alone. </p><p>You went into the shower and washed the blood off of your body. Your skin was stained red; it would take a while to clean yourself. You didn’t mind the long shower, it gave you time to yourself, time away from Chrollo and his sad glares. The water slid down your skin; soap buds covered your body. Though your body was clean and free of all previous problems, you felt your skin crawl. Your mother was back.</p><p>You closed your eyes and returned to the beach.</p><p>Your mother was nowhere to be found, but you felt her presence surrounding you from every angle. Her voice that was as rough as gravel whispered into your ears. </p><p>
  <b>Feitan was quite the wicked man, wasn’t he? Maybe it was a good thing that you killed him. Remember when he murdered the Kurta clan alongside the Troupe? I certainly do. He tortured those poor souls. They were mutilated by the time he was done with them.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Chrollo was there too. He’s a killer also, you know. He isn’t as innocent as you view him. Do you know studies have shown that when you love someone, you forget about their bad attributes? That’s what’s happening now with the two of you. Oh my, I like to see my precious child fall in love. All mothers do!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t love Chrollo.” You snapped.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Quit the feisty one, aren’t you? I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful. You’re in my space, remember that. I could torture if I want to. Now onto my main point. Machi is Chrollo’s dream, not you. You shouldn’t get your hopes up for a relationship that will never be. They slept together. How many years ago was it? Four? Five? Six? I guess you’ll just have to ask them. Chrollo treated her like his princess, all soft touches and gentle kisses. Don’t you wish he would touch you like that? Cherish you?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>She was trying to get a rise out of you. You couldn’t let your mind wander to those thoughts. The thought of Chrollo with another woman sickened you. You couldn’t bear the thought. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>My sweet little child. Do me a favour and don’t go after him. You’ll do him more harm than good. You always were quite the heartbreaker. I remember when you were 3, before my untimely death, you rejected this little boy, Jeremy was it, who had a crush on you. I’ll never forget the sad look on his face. What a riot! Chrollo will kill you if you harm him, and harm him you will do. You’re a terrible person.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“ENOUGH!” You screamed. The water rose in a tsunami of emotions. You could control it. You had to silence your mother once and for all. Water swirled around your body. You could control this world. This was inside your head. Not your mother’s. You shot the water outwards in every direction. A phlegmy laugh filled your ears.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Do you think you can best me in my world? That’s pathetic.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>The water shot back at you. It filled your lungs and suffocated you. You couldn’t breathe. You needed air. You couldn’t beg for help. Your mother was going to kill you. The air left your lungs. You had been spared. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Next time I won’t be merciful.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>You were shot back into the real world. The water continued to hit your back, but it was ice cold. You shut off the faucet and got out of the shower. Chrollo waited for you outside of the bathroom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>reviews appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. NO HALO</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is pretty gorey so beware. it is also very long. this is the longest chapter as it covers 3 different events. also tw for alcohol abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Y/N, I’d like to pick your brain over something. Do you mind?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Not at all.”</p>
<p>“What are your thoughts on the afterlife?”</p>
<p>“I believe that once we die, that’s the end. Heaven and Hell aren’t things we get to experience in death. We simply experience nothing. We’re dead; that’s the end of it. Our souls reincarnate into someone else, but we can’t feel their emotions and thoughts. We won’t know who gets our soul. Also, I believe that we can haunt those of our choosing if we desire it.” You said. This wasn’t the first time you thought of the afterlife. You had been haunted by a dead person for as long as you lived.</p>
<p>“That is a unique take on it.”</p>
<p>“What about you? Your thoughts, I mean.”</p>
<p>“I believe everyone experiences what they want to. If someone believes in Heaven and Hell, they’ll go through one or the other if they believe in lingering in the human world; that’s what they will do. People experience what brings them comfort or joy. I believe I’m going straight to Hell; that’s where I’ll end up.” You considered his words. They did have a point to them; why wouldn’t people experience what eased their minds?</p>
<p>Religion played a big part in all of this as well; people that believed in God were more likely to believe in Heaven. Atheists were less likely to believe in these broad themes heavy with imagination. They made up their scenarios. </p>
<p>“I also believe in the other main afterlife belief; reincarnation. I believe that some people choose to be reincarnated until they find spiritual peace. After that, they’ll end up where they want to. Imagination is a key part in this.” He finished. </p>
<p>“Why are you starting this conversation with me?” You asked. Chrollo rarely asked for your thoughts on important topics; he opted to ask Feitan or Pakunoda. </p>
<p>“I thought you might like the topic; I must’ve been mistaken. We’ve got a task at hand; I shouldn’t be getting distracted with a silly conversation.” You frowned. You didn’t know of a new mission; you had completed it unless there was something more.</p>
<p>“Bring your mask with you.” He said before exiting the room. You knew this meant you were going to a ceremony for a Meteor City resident. Which one? Who were they, and why were they essential to Chrollo? Another member of the Troupe hadn’t passed away (besides Feitan, but they already held a memorial for him). You grabbed your mask from your bag; it was the face of a snake, vibrant colours of red and blue swirled on the mask. It was a beauty; hand-painted for you by Chrollo. </p>
<p>You put it on, tying the string in the back. Chrollo awaited you in the main room of the hotel. Machi and Pakunoda were by his side. Nobody else wanted to go, and Chrollo wasn’t going to force them to. It was going to be the four of you going on the “mission.” </p>
<p>“Chrollo, might I ask where we’re going?” You chimed in. </p>
<p>Chrollo frowned before answering. “We’re going to a memorial. A member of the Meteor City Council passed away.” Chrollo swirled his keys in his hand. The four of you moved out and drove to Meteor City. The smell of garbage and fire hit your senses. You weren’t used to Meteor City; you had only been there a few times to find information on the Troupe. Piles of garbage were everywhere; everywhere you could look, there was trash. It made sense because everything was dumped in Meteor City.</p>
<p>“Hello, Chrollo! It’s been a while since we last saw you around here!” An older man shouted out. He was sitting on a stool, polishing a shoe. Chrollo gave a natural smile.</p>
<p>“I’ve been too wrapped up in work to visit. It’s nice to see you again.” </p>
<p>“You here for the memorial? I heard about that Council member’s death. A damn shame.” He scrubbed the shoe with a more intense force. “He was one of the good ones.”</p>
<p>“I agree. Well, we’ll be on our way now.” The man nodded as you moved closer to the memorial area. It was held outside, like always. The residents of Meteor City were out and bustling with excitement. They had always loved a proper funeral. Cruel thinking, of course, but it meant that they would have access to luxury foods and a party. A memorial for a council member was always fun; they wanted everyone to have a good time before the bore that was a council member election. The Council went to other cities and stole; food, flowers, stereos.</p>
<p>Masks were a requirement for the memorial; you wouldn’t be allowed in without one. The masks kept a sense of anonymity within the guests. The crowd in front of you everyone had their special masks on. Chrollo wore a lion mask, Pakunoda, a cat mask, and Machi a dog mask. </p>
<p>Guards surrounded the area in which the memorial was being held. People were yanked out if they had their faces out in the open. Erotic jazz music played from a stereo as people danced. </p>
<p>The memorial had yet to begin. Excited chatter filled the air, cries of laughter and enjoyment. Chrollo picked a cupcake off of a platter, offering it to Pakunoda, who denied it. He ate it in one bite, licking the frosting off of the side of his mouth.</p>
<p>You watched him with wide eyes; he was turning you on with the smallest of gestures. You turned away, face flushed in embarrassment. He was your boss, after all.</p>
<p>“Ladies and gentlemen.” The sound of mic tapping and a man’s voice changed your focus. At the front of the crowd was a man in a finely pressed suit, sorrowful expression written on his face. <i>He must be a friend of the guy who died,</i> you thought. The music was turned down, and the chatter calmed down.</p>
<p>“Today, we stand here commemorating a fine man. A man that was taken from us too soon, Cornelius. He was my best friend---” The man paused, gathering himself. “---a man that I looked up to. He was loyal and kind. He always gave to the less fortunate when they needed it. He never looked out for only himself; he starved himself just so other people could have his food. If you don’t mind, I’m going to read a few quotes from him so you can understand just how beautiful of a man he is.” He shuffled his papers before clearing his throat.</p>
<p><i>“Meteor City is a place that needs saving. We have children, women, men, and everything else eating from piles of garbage. Kids are starving and dying. We’re living on piles of trash. Nobody in the outside world cares for us. We hold a special bond, a stronger bond than other cities out there, yet we are the ones that struggle the most. Why is that? Why must we lose everything in order to gain family? We need to go back to the time where we could live normally. No fighting over food scraps, no being forced to snuggle up next to each other when the winter nights got too cold. We are aliens of a wicked society. Nobody loves us. That is a fact. I want to change that. I want us to not worry about whether or not we’ll get dinner. I’ll need your help to accomplish this.”</i> The man quoted. Chrollo scoffed beside you, the smallest of sounds.</p>
<p>“Get ready to move,” Chrollo whispered.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, what is this mission? You didn’t tell me.” You said.</p>
<p>“We kill everyone here. Simple as that.” You gasped. You had believed Meteor City residents to have a close bond, but now Chrollo wanted to kill them? Why? You didn’t ask him; he had told you the final plan. Once he said something that was the end of it. No further discussions needed.</p>
<p>“Now.” He said, running ahead of you. You had your daggers out, slitting people’s throats in swift movements. Bodies dropped onto the floor. As the body count got larger, you began to enjoy yourself more. Chaos had ensued, people ran screaming their little heads off. </p>
<p>You tripped a man who was running with his family. His head hit the ground with a thud. You chuckled at the sight. Blood flood down his face, dripping onto the concrete below.</p>
<p>“PLEASE! SPARE ME! I’VE BEEN GOOD!” He cried out. You rolled your eyes and kicked him back down with the sole of your boot. You pressed a knee to his chest, keeping him down. He was getting on your nerves with his crying and sobbing. You forced his mouth open and stuck your dagger inside. In a quick movement, you cut off his tongue. He screamed as you pulled it out, dangling it in the air for good measure.</p>
<p>“My what a great tongue we have here! Quite long too! Ooh, and the veins underneath are magnificent!” Mocking him, you shoved the tongue down his throat. He gagged and choked at it. His head was turning a deep mauve at the lack of oxygen. You ran your knife along the side of his face, carving a PT on his cheek. His eyes rolled in the back of his head. He was dead.</p>
<p>“Oh, well, he was no fun.” You sighed, standing up. You sought out your next victim. A chubby woman struggled to escape the area, your next target. You smirked as you ran over to her spot. You elbowed her in the side of the head. She let out a small <i>oomph</i> sound as she fell. She didn’t bother crying like the last guy; she knew she was going to die anyway. You liked her at once.</p>
<p>You carved an O around the perimeter of her stomach. Fat spilled outwards in a grotesque display. Yellow slabs of meat gave away to small muscles and a beautiful set of ribs. She let out a soft moan at the feeling. <i>She’s used to torture,</i> you thought. None of your victims were ever this calm. It was disturbing. You cut a line down the center, watching as her organs slipped out. You made quick X cuts along her arms, waiting as the blood poured out. She was barely hanging on as you tore out her small intestine. You grasped it in your hand, admiring the shape and look. Another victim went too fast. These Meteor City residents didn’t put up a fight.</p>
<p>Machi stood on top of a pile of corpses; she had stocked up on kills. Chrollo admired that, silently, as he went to work on his victim. He was fond of ripping eyeballs out, so that is what he did—many eyes in all shapes and sizes scattered near him as he worked. Pakunoda chose to shoot her victims, gunshots blaring.</p>
<p>“PLEASE!” The man who was giving the speech, yelled. You all turned towards him. He was full-on sobbing, snot, and tears running down his face. He was on his knees, hands clasped together, begging.</p>
<p>“Don’t kill me! All I wanted was to hold a nice ceremony for my friend!” Chrollo laughed at that. He walked closer to the man.</p>
<p>“Oh, is that so? Is that why you had those guards hold guns? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t these events supposed to weapon free? They are. I’ve been going to these things since I was a little boy, never have they ended in such violence.”</p>
<p>“That’s all your fault! We would all be alive and happy if it weren’t for you and your gang of killers!” </p>
<p>“Now, don’t play us off like that. We are more than measly killers. I’m insulted.” Chrollo didn’t bother listening to what else the man had to say. He stabbed him in the eye with Ben’s knife laced with poison. The man was dead within seconds. Chrollo pulled a small black notepad out of his coat pocket. He scribbled a message on a page and tore it out. He stabbed the note into the man’s heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everyone here was a liar and a criminal. Watch your back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You think you can just get away with that?” A voice yelled from behind you four. Cornelius. The man that was supposed to be dead. You let out a small gasp at the sight. It wasn’t all too surprising; people came back from the dead all of the time. </p>
<p>Cornelius’s Nen was already out; violent bursts of aura. He was ready to fight you all to the grave. He disappeared, reappearing behind Machi as he crushed her skull with his bare hands. Her body crumpled onto the floor. <i>Shit,</i> you thought, you had lost your healer. He disappeared again, this time arriving behind Pakunoda. She was expecting him so she was able to dodge his attack. He frowned before leaving your sight. He was going to go after you next. As he appeared you jumped backward, landing next to Chrollo.</p>
<p>You blew a soft whiff of air, making your short bangs fly upward. You had a knife in each hand, blades soaked in poison. You leaped in the air, moving to Cornelius’s spot. He faded away, coming closer to Chrollo. Cornelius was fast, above average, even on par with Feitan’s skill. He had to have a weakness. He hadn’t even shown his special Nen ability yet. </p>
<p>Cornelius disappeared yet again. He didn’t reappear for a whole minute.</p>
<p>“Keep your guard up,” Chrollo instructed. </p>
<p>Cornelius appeared again, this time coming out of the ground in front of Pakunoda. He sliced off her head in one swift movement before she could attack. You and Chrollo felt anger coursing throughout your bones. In less than ten minutes, Cornelius had taken out two members of the Troupe. He was going to kill the two of you if you didn’t act quickly.</p>
<p>It was time for you to showcase your Nen ability. You needed a minute to prepare yourself.</p>
<p>“Chrollo, keep him distracted for a minute. Then run like hell.” You sat on the ground, closing your eyes. You felt the sea below your body, waves crashing, fish swimming. The waves grew more and more until they seemed to reach the sky. A tsunami. You manifested that into reality. Your eyes snapped open as you brought the sea with you. The ground within 50 meters of you was covered in water. Chrollo was at a safe distance. </p>
<p>Cornelius’s head bobbed underwater; he struggled to breathe.</p>
<p>“Is that too much for you to handle?” You laughed. You were going to make his life a lot worst. You summoned hundreds of hands to rip his body apart and that they did. His flesh was tossed into the air like confetti. His heart was ripped out and thrown into your awaiting hands. It wasn’t beating, perfectly still.</p>
<p>Chrollo walked closer to you once you made the water and hands disappear. He wore a shit-eating smile on his face.</p>
<p>“No wonder you haven’t shown me your Nen ability yet. It’s incredibly powerful.”</p>
<p>“Well, part of me didn’t want you to steal it.” You chuckled. </p>
<p>Chrollo’s smile faltered as he turned his attention to Machi and Pakunoda’s corpses. “We’re going to have to do something about those.” He said before throwing them over his shoulders. You nodded, offering to take one of the bodies only for him to refuse. </p>
<p>Three members of the Troupe were down, all of which could’ve been prevented. A soft pang tingled in your heart. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t get too attached to these people. You knew they were going to die; you knew that when you had stalked them to earn a spot. But why did you feel a connection to them? They were your family in a weird way. <br/>~<br/>~<br/>~</p>
<p>That night as you went into your room, you heard soft sobs come from behind Chrollo’s door. You were curious, peeking open the door a little. Chrollo was sitting on his bed, tears streaming down his face. Ugly cries escaped his lips. It was a shocking sight; in all of your months in the Troupe, you had never seen Chrollo cry. Even during Feitan’s funeral, Chrollo had kept a straight face.</p>
<p>“If you want to talk quit staring at me through the door,” Chrollo said looking at you. His eyes were bloodshot from what seemed like hours of crying. You pushed open the door walking in.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” You asked. </p>
<p>“Jesus, fuck, do you seriously think I’m okay. Two of my best friends just fucking died. Feitan died last week. Every one of my friends is dying, and I can’t stop it. I’m a terrible leader. You know it and so does everyone else. I just want my friends back.” He snapped.</p>
<p>“Danchou, you’re a great leader and friend, okay? Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Their deaths were inevitable; we’re in a dangerous line of work.” You sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing his hand. “It’s okay; you’ll get over it. I understand your pain, Pakunoda and Machi were good people.”</p>
<p>“Quit lying! They were fucking killers! Nobody else cares for them besides me. I’m the only sitting here mourning their deaths! Did you see Shalnark? He doesn’t give a shit; he’s just waiting for his next command. Nobody cares. I’m the only one that does! You know what, get the fuck out of my sight.” He lashed out. You didn’t leave his side. “Please, go. I don’t want to be seen like this.” He cried. </p>
<p>“I’m not going anywhere.” You said. You moved next to him and rested his head on your chest. His tears soaked your shirt, but you didn’t mind. You ran your fingers through his hair and quieted him. He slowly fell into sleep. His arms wrapped around your waist and you stayed like that until the next morning.</p>
<p>You woke up alone in Chrollo’s bed. He was gone. </p>
<p>“Chrollo?” You called out only to be met with silence. You scoffed as you went to the bathroom to shower and change out of the tear and snot covered clothes. You heard the hotel door room click open. Chrollo was home. You threw on your clothes as quickly as possible and ran outside to greet him. </p>
<p>“Hey!” You said. He set down an armful of (stolen) groceries. “Are you okay?” You asked. Chrollo looked at you before pressing his lips to yours. His lips were soft, like biting into cotton candy. They made you feel weightless inside as if you were walking without gravity. His arms snaked around your waist pulling you closer. You pulled away from him, biting his bottom lip. He gave out a gentle moan.</p>
<p>“Why did you kiss me?” You asked—a stupid question.</p>
<p>“I love you.” You stumbled backward. You had never heard Chrollo say he loved anybody. He loved you. You love him. But you couldn’t say it back. It would mean you were attached to him. He still didn’t know about your horrors. Could he still love you after learning of what goes on in your head? You couldn’t say what you were thinking out loud.</p>
<p>Chrollo noticed your pained expression. “You don’t love me.” He frowned. “I see how it is.” He turned away from you and left the small hotel room. He grabbed his little bag of items before leaving. You knew he wasn’t coming back, you had pained him. The only reason he was still around was because of you. He wanted more time alone with you, and you had robbed him of that time. Who knows when you would see him again? You had fucked up any chance of seeing him any time soon, and you hated yourself for it. </p>
<p>The familiar itch of wanting to kill was overcoming you. Your mother whispered sweet nothings into your ear, demanding you kill someone for a reward. You wanted to hurt Chrollo. You wanted him to die for making you feel such absurd things. You weren’t capable of love. You knew that. You could burn him; you could cause him pain. You could kill his spider. That would destroy him and his entire life. You shook the thoughts from your head. It wasn’t you speaking; it was your mom. You couldn’t let her control and manipulate you.</p>
<p>You needed Chrollo. You craved him. He needed you. What was the issue? Why were you putting up walls and barriers to protect yourself from the possibility of love? It could all be so simple. Though, you couldn’t be held back by the little things. You had a larger goal at hand; kill your mother, and be free of horrors. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Come on, my darling, kill Chrollo. Destroy the spider. When had that stopped being your goal? Get back on track. Kill the spider be free of me. I would’ve been gone ages ago if you killed the Spiders, the people that had slain me.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You knew your mother was right; you had faltered away from your original goal. You just wanted her to leave you alone so you could live in peace. Your Nen would be weaker without her but you didn’t mind. You could survive without it. You closed your eyes.</p>
<p>“Mother, can you give me a bit of your finest poison?” You heard a phlegmy laugh. A breath of poison induced air surrounded you. Your lungs began to lock up, not familiar with the foreign body. Poison. It enveloped you, filled the air around you. You got used to it quickly. You manifested a jar into your hand, gathering the strong poison. You screw a lid on and put it in your coat pocket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><i>“I’m proud of you. At last, I will get justice for my murder. You’ll get peace and quiet. You’ve wished for this for years, a dream coming true.”</i> Your mother said. She appeared in front of you in her physical form. Long lilac hair flowed down her back, a set of grey eyes glared into yours. Full lips and a bulbous nose gave her face a welcoming look, like a warm hug, a mother’s touch. She wore a long white dress with no shoes. She looked like an angel, though she was much closer to a devil.</p>
<p>You needed to find Chrollo and fast. You left your nightmare and whipped out your phone. You fired off a text to Shalnark: I’ll give you someone to kill if you tell me where Chrollo is. Shalnark was on rotation to be by Chrollo’s side, alongside Franklin. Your phone chimed with an incoming message. Shalnark had responded with one word. <i>Bookstore.</i> You knew where it was; you and Chrollo had gone there together, picking out books for one another. It was a beautiful place, walls lined with books, the fresh smell of coffee, nice employees. Too bad it was going to be filled with corpses after you arrived.</p>
<p>You hijacked a car and drove to the bookstore. Peeking through the window, you saw Chrollo browsing the books, Shalnark and Franklin close behind. You walked in, silent as night, snapping the necks of employees. Chrollo hadn’t noticed your presence; he almost never did. You snuck up behind him. He finally saw you and turned to face you. Shit.</p>
<p>“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Chrollo, I was wondering if we could talk? If you don’t mind.” You made an act of acting scared and sincere. Little did he know you had bloodlust on your mind.</p>
<p>“That’s okay.” He said. He grabbed your hand and led you into the backroom. He had a key, which wasn’t a shock; if he wanted something, he took it. He closed the door behind himself. “What is it?”</p>
<p>“I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I was scared. Please, forgive me.” You lied effortlessly, the words slipping off your tongue like honey. Chrollo seemed to believe you. He hoisted you onto his waist. You wrapped your legs around him and went in for a kiss. Your tongues met in a lust-filled fury. </p>
<p>“Do you want me?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” You moaned into his mouth. He lifted your shirt. He lay gentle kisses down your neck. He gave little feints of kisses, proceeding to bite on your neck. He sucked, eliciting small moans and mewls from you. His fingers traced along your spine,  making electricity shoot throughout your body. You melted into him. </p>
<p>“Why couldn’t you have said you loved me? Everyone knows you do.” He said before kissing you again.</p>
<p>“It’s not that easy, Chrollo.” You pressed your body into his. You ran your fingers through his slicked-back hair before laying a kiss under his ear.</p>
<p>“It is.” He stopped kissing you. “I don’t believe you truly love me, Y/N. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have hesitated to tell me. You’re always upfront with your thoughts. When was the last time you kept your opinion to yourself?” Chrollo was onto you. While it was true you loved him; you didn’t want him. He was going to be just another victim. </p>
<p>“I think we’re not going to work out. I’ll never be more than your boss.” You pushed you off of him. Anger resonated in your head. How dare he treat you with such disrespect? He hadn’t even given you the chance to love him properly. Storming out of the room, you released the poison into the air. A hazy cloud of poison hung in the air, killing Shalnark and Franklin. You stepped over their bodies as you exited.</p>
<p>A clown waited for you around the corner. He pressed a singular card to your throat—the King of Clubs. In a low, husky voice, he spoke. “You’re going to listen to me. Are we clear?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” You said, voice even. After all, this wasn’t the first time you’d been in a situation like this.</p>
<p>“If you didn’t know already, I’m member number four of the Troupe. I know of your intentions with them. You wish to destroy the Spider. Am I correct?” You nodded. “I have no issue with that I would like to help you. However, my only request is that you save the boss for me.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. He is mine to kill. He’s the one that killed my mother. I’m sure this is only a power thing for you. Dead mom trumps power.” You scoffed.</p>
<p>He gave a devilish smile.” You’re very good at reading people. I could kill you right here and now. So let’s agree to disagree. Whoever gets to him first wins.” You liked the sound of that.</p>
<p>“Deal,” You elbowed him in the stomach and turned around to give him a handshake.</p>
<p>From that point forward, you and Hisoka would be partners and crime. You took turns killing a leg of the spider until you were down to two; Phinks and Uvogin. They had fallen off the face of the Earth; Chrollo put a guard around them. He wasn’t going to lose another piece of the spider, his soul. You and Hisoka had searched the globe in a desperate attempt to find them, though the two of you were members of the Troupe, Chrollo hid their whereabouts from you. </p>
<p>Emptiness clawed inside of you. Months had gone by since you and Hisoka’s first meeting, and you still hadn’t reached your goal. You tilted your head back, swallowing the rest of the bottle of alcohol in one gulp. You had been drinking yourself senseless, letting your mind be taken over by the influence of alcohol. It was your escape. You had ignored all of Chrollo’s messages giving you new assignments. He wasn’t your boss, at least you didn’t believe him to be. </p>
<p>You tossed the bottle behind you, hearing the satisfying crashing noise as it shattered. You grabbed another bottle from beside you, vodka. That would do. You drank half of it, wincing at the sour taste. It was grabbed from your hand before you could take another sip.</p>
<p>“Someone’s been ignoring me to drink themselves into oblivion.” A man commented. Chrollo. <i>Shit.</i> He had found you. He threw you over his shoulder. Your mind swirled with slow thoughts, coming in at half their usual speed. Your senses dulled.</p>
<p>“I didn’t do shit,” You slurred. Bile climbed the back of your throat as you threw up on the concrete below you. Chrollo gagged, vomit was not a sight he liked. </p>
<p>“Oh, so it wasn’t you that ignored all of my mission orders. You know the rules, Y/N, you’re going to have to be punished.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t sound pleasant at all. How about I trade information in exchange for not getting tortured. Besides, your man torturer is dead, has been for a while.” Chrollo frowned at the subtle mention of Feitan.</p>
<p>“What information do you have for me?” </p>
<p>“Hisoka, the big number four! He is a traitor! He killed all of those legs, all of them! Except those pesky numbers 3 and 11. You haven’t let them die. Yay!” You giggled. You started to feel lightheaded as more puke escaped. Chrollo began to hum a small tune, a song you remembered clearly. It was the song your mother wrote for you when she was alive. How did Chrollo know it? </p>
<p>“Chrollo, what’s the name of the song you’re singing?” You asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t know. It was a song a mother taught me. I killed her, I think. No, I did kill her. She was a beauty, one of my earliest kills. I was a child then. Ten. She taught me the words before I killed her, she said the song was for me to remember her by. Well, I remember her. Not her name, though.” He said, turning a corner.</p>
<p>“Amarah Uchis.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry?”</p>
<p>“That was the name of the woman you killed.”</p>
<p>“How do you know that? I don’t share my kills with anybody.”</p>
<p>“I know that because she was my mother.” You jabbed him in the stomach with your knee, freeing yourself from his grip. You stumbled on your feet. Vision blurred at the edges and disoriented. You couldn’t fight Chrollo now, under such a condition. Alcohol was pulling you under; you weren’t at your best, you were slow and in a dazed state. Yet you still itched to fight him; you wanted to kill him, drain his body of oxygen.</p>
<p>His arm reached out to grab your wrist. He restrained you, pulling you into his chest. You could feel his hot breath hitting your neck as he spoke in a low, sultry tone. “Don’t try anything. I’m sure you’re looking to avenge your mother. Unfortunately, I cannot let you do that.” His cold words sent shivers down your spine. Despite your situation, you felt yourself getting turned on. You wished for him to stop being a goddamn tease.</p>
<p>“How did you kill her?” You asked. You wanted to know every gruesome detail of your mother’s death, even if it meant you were going to be brought pain.</p>
<p>“You don’t want to know. You’ll hate me forever.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do. Tell me.” You demanded.</p>
<p>Chrollo was young back then, ten as he said, and he was getting ready to make his first kills. He was going to mass kill a village as he was taught to by his elders. For months he had been taught different torture methods, the quickest ways to kill someone, and the slowest. He was a master with the books, ready to bring his knowledge to life. </p>
<p>He entered the village alone, pretending to be a desperate kid in need of a meal. Several villagers fell for his ruse, offering him slabs of pork and beef, but the meat he wanted was them. He sliced them all open, shredding their bodies to be mere scraps. Chrollo felt a sense of pride in those kills; he was doing a much better job than he thought he was going to do.</p>
<p>He walked into the next house over where a mother was gardening. Flowers of all sorts were growing in neat patches of land, being tended by a beautiful woman. She was an odd woman. Long lilac hair that poked out easily. Her attire was unique, to say the least; she wore a dress with hundreds of trinkets and toys sewn into them, her shoes had bells on them that made happy tinkering noises as she moved. Piercings were all over her body; nose, ear, belly button, upper lip. Tattoos of the sea lined her arm, ink flowing effortlessly as if the sea was meant to be there with her. She was a dream.</p>
<p>“Hello, young boy!” She had said as he approached her. It wasn’t uncommon for children to visit her; she was the fairy of the village, magical and ethereal. She pat the dirt below her hands, securing a small seed inside. “What is your name?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Chrollo.” Better to tell the truth than lie. She was going to die either way.</p>
<p>“Chrollo,” She tried the name on her tongue. “I like that!” For just a second, Chrollo felt a pang of sadness that he was going to kill her. She picked off a small tomato from her vegetable garden and gave it to Chrollo. “Here, you look hungry!” She chirped. Chrollo took a bite out of it; his senses were overwhelmed. It was better than the garbage he was used to eating in Meteor City. Rich flavours overcame him. Juice dribbled down his chin as he ate the entire thing in three bites.</p>
<p>“More,” He begged. Amarah obliged, handing him another tomato. He gobbled it down.</p>
<p>“I haven’t seen you around here. Did you just move here?” She asked.</p>
<p>“No, just visiting a friend.” He lied.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s so cool! Is it Jessie from down the street? He seems like a cool kid around your age.” Chrollo knew who Jessie was; he had already killed him. </p>
<p>“No,”</p>
<p>“Would you like to learn a song?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,”</p>
<p>She began singing, a lovely tune, her voice angelic and magical. Chrollo hung on to her every word, remembering the words in his head as she continued. She finished after a minute of beautiful singing. </p>
<p>“Can I have some fruit, please?” Chrollo asked. Amarah nodded and turned her back, a mistake. Chrollo whipped the shoelace off of his shoe and wrapped it around her neck. Her hands reached desperately at the string in an attempt to pull it off. It was no use, Chrollo tightened his grip. He pushed her into the ground with his foot, pressing her head into the dirt.</p>
<p>He bent one of her arms behind her back until he heard a satisfying pop. Her arm went limp under his grip. From his coat pocket, he pulled out a thread and needle. He pushed her body, so her face was facing him. </p>
<p>“Why are you doing this?” She asked in an ugly sob.</p>
<p>“Because it’s fun.” Chrollo grinned. He pressed a knee to her chest, so she was rendered helpless. On the side of her mouth, he pierced her skin with the needle. It was a fantastic feeling, her skin opening up, giving him access to her. He struck the needle down, closing a small piece of her mouth. Blood was forming at the edges of the stitch. He ignored it; his kills weren’t going to clean and neat; they were going to be gruesome and cruel. He continued down the line of her mouth until it was sewn shut.</p>
<p>Her muffled cries of help flowed in the air. Chrollo smiled as he stepped onto her neck, crushing it at once. Her body went limp as she stopped breathing. Hundreds of feet away, her child, you, was watching the scene go down. You had a hand clasped around your mouth to prevent him from hearing from you. </p>
<p>You wouldn’t remember this event; you would block it from your mind, ultimately forgetting it. Your mother never pestered you in your nightmares to commemorate her death; she didn’t want you to feel more pain.</p>
<p>Chrollo grabbed as many vegetables and fruits as he could and stuffed them in his pockets. He would share them with his friends when he met with them again. A kind gesture. </p>
<p>Chrollo finished the story. Tears fell from your eyes as he finished. “Why would you do that to her? She was nothing but kind to you?” You sobbed.</p>
<p>“God, you’re acting like she didn’t have her faults. She was a sinner. We all are.” He said.</p>
<p>“Just because she had faults doesn’t mean that she deserved to die. I guess that means your little friends deserved to die.” Chrollo frowned at your words.</p>
<p>“They didn’t, but yes, they weren’t good people to anyone except members of the Troupe. Your mother, however, got what she deserved. She was a slut.” You threw a crooked punch at Chrollo, missing him by a long shot.</p>
<p>“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” </p>
<p>“Yes, I do. Did you know Feitan was your brother? I’m sure you didn’t. You had different dads. Do you even know your dad? I suppose you don’t; your mother doesn’t either.” He was trying to hurt you, his words piercing your heart with the strength of a thousand daggers. </p>
<p>“I hate you,” You muttered under your breath.</p>
<p>“Who doesn’t?” He laughed. </p>
<p>“I want you dead. I wish Hisoka would just kill you already. I wish I weren’t drunk right now so I could kill you myself. I want you to drown in the very waters that have been haunting my head because of you. I Want you to endure everything I’ve had for years. Do you think I don’t live in constant pain? I do. You couldn’t begin to dream of what I go through. Compared to me, your life is easy. Fuck. I wish I lived in your peaceful head.” You slurred your words as you spoke.</p>
<p>Chrollo kept an even expression on his face, though deep down, your words stung. You had spent months pining after one another; now you were enemies. You had fallen out of love, and that was okay. Neither of you was built for love; you couldn’t hold a relationship if your life depended on it. Your personalities were all too extravagant in a negative way.</p>
<p>“If you want me dead, why are you still a member of the Spider?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m not. I thought I made that very clear.” Then it dawned on you; you had no choice but to be a spider. A Spider tattoo branded you as a member. Chrollo wouldn’t let you escape from his reins so easily. Hadn’t a member, Omokage, left on his own will? Could you not do the same? Chrollo had grown attached to you; he had wanted you since your first meeting, he wasn’t going to give you up without putting up a fight. </p>
<p>“Babe, do you think that you have a choice? The Spider is forever, and with you, it can grow and flourish and reach new highs. It won’t ever die, nor will you if I have anything to say about it. He pulled a cigarette out from his coat pocket and a lighter. Fire lit up the side of his face as he put the cigarette in his mouth.</p>
<p>He let out a long exhale. “You have the tattoo, do you not? When you let Feitan ink you, that was the day you sold your life to me. You are my employee, my friend—” He was cut off by your scoff. “—or not. The point still stands, you are a member of the Troupe whether you like it or not. If you don’t follow my command, I’ll kill you.”</p>
<p>You spat onto the pavement. “I’d rather be dead than continue to be a member of the Spider.”</p>
<p>“Let’s not get so aggressive. This can be a civil conversation if—”</p>
<p>“If what? I despise you. I don’t want to have a ‘civil’ conversation with you. I want to scream at you until my voice grows hoarse. I want to say things that hurt you. When will you understand that? Chrollo, we’re never going to be what we once were, it’s time for you to accept that.” </p>
<p>“Y/N, you know you’re the first person I’ve had feelings for? You changed me in a way I didn’t believe was possible. On your best days, you convinced me not to kill but rather hang around and make a nice dinner.” He said.</p>
<p>With a gentle laugh, you said, “First-person you’ve had feelings for? That’s a load of bullshit. What about Machi? I’m sure she’s rolling in her grave at the thought of you brushing off your relationship.”</p>
<p>Chrollo’s face darkened, his eyelids going heavy, and a scowl plastered across his face. “How do you know about Machi and me? That was before your time.”</p>
<p>“That isn’t important. Answer my question. Didn’t your elders ever teach you that it’s rude to answer a question with a question?”</p>
<p>“We were teenagers back then. It was just another drunken hookup. To be honest, I don’t even remember that night all too well.” He lied.</p>
<p>“She was your girlfriend, wasn’t she? You loved her. What happened?” </p>
<p>“God, Y/N, that’s none of your business. No wonder no one liked you.” </p>
<p>“I think your life becomes my business the second you kill my mom. Don’t you agree?” He didn’t, but you pressed on anyway. “You would be concerned about my doings if I had killed your family. It’s all fair game.” You drawled. You circled around him, teasing him with your fingers grazing his shoulders. </p>
<p>You were considerable less drunk; you could hold alcohol well for someone your size. You regained most of your head back. Your vision was clear as day now, the effects of the weak alcohol were nearing their end. You snaked and arm around his waist, resting your head in the crook of his neck. </p>
<p>“Chrollo, you know you want to let me escape. To find peace outside of your gang of petty thieves and killers. There are only two legs left. Give it up. It’ll never be what it once was. You’ll never reach that high ever again.” He whipped around and wrapped his hands around your throat.</p>
<p>“Watch your mouth.”</p>
<p>“Or what? Will you kill me? You need me. You’re so dependent on me you won’t let me escape you. You know it would be best if we were away from each other. Hell, you fucking know that we would be better off alone. Better off dead. Quit with the damn mind games; they’re not working out in your favour. I just hate you more than ever.” Your voice was dripping with pure hatred and acid as you spoke.</p>
<p>More pressure was added to your throat; you choked and gagged.</p>
<p>“I’ll turn you into my human squeaky toy. Don’t test me.” He pinned you to an alley wall. </p>
<p>“Do it. Kill me.” You croaked. His grip loosened as you collapsed on to the ground, breaths ragged and bumpy. He kicked you in the stomach. You doubled over in pain as he towered above you.</p>
<p>“You’re free for now, don’t expect me not to return.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter was really fun to write; i loved writing the gore and playing around with "unique" murders. as always reviews appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 1999 WILDFIRE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The final chapter. You and Chrollo fight to the death</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw suicide</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sixteen months. That was how long it had been since you last saw Chrollo. You stopped bothering to chase him down, Hisoka took care of that by himself. You switched professions, working as a lawyer, killing everyone that got in your path. Protected by the government, you had the freedom to do as you pleased. So you killed, more than ever. Dead bodies followed you everywhere you went. Nobody was safe from your wrath.</p>
<p>Your mornings become a blur; it was all too repetitive. In a way, you missed your old life in the Troupe; every day was unique full of new adventures. You shook the thoughts from your head, though your time in the Troupe was short, it was still a terrible experience towards the end. <br/>Chrollo, who was once a man you loved, had turned into a creature you despised. When you had first met him, you admired everything about him. The way he killed without a second thought. His leadership skills. You had once aspired to be on his level, now you wanted to be the complete opposite of him. A good person.</p>
<p>Your mother grew more violent as the months away from Chrollo grew. Your inner peace was interrupted by your mother’s screams of pain. She was now making you relive her death as if it would change anything. No matter how much harm Chrollo had caused you, you didn’t care enough to chase him down again. </p>
<p>He was finally leaving your thoughts. You could go an entire day without thinking about him; when you slept your nightmares full of his name, his face, his killings.</p>
<p>You sat in a bar, drinking your mind away. Another day of boring lawyer work had left you feeling unwell. You had lost your case, something that rarely happened, and it had left you on edge. You could find an escape in your drinking, though it wasn’t working. Your mind was still sharp with a flurry of thoughts. </p>
<p>You looked around the bar, taking in the people. You needed someone to hook up with; you deserved a bit of fun. Nobody was catching your eye, the room was full of middle-aged men hoping to get a young piece of meat to fuck. The women weren’t bad, only limited. </p>
<p>A man took a seat beside you. “Bad day?” He asked, signaling the bartender to give him a shot of tequila. Your hair spiked outwards as you lashed your head towards the man. Chrollo. </p>
<p>You didn’t think before you acted; you poured your drink over the front of his white button-up and punched him square in the nose. His head bobbed back at the impact. People’s heads turned in your direction. You grabbed the front of his shirt and hit him again, and again, and again. Blood dripped from his nose and onto the stool.</p>
<p>“HEY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” The bartender yelled. You listened to him, you couldn’t have an assault charge on your record, it would ruin your career as a lawyer. You left the bar, digging in your pocket frantically when you made it onto the street. </p>
<p>“You’re quite rude,” He walked up to you. “You didn’t bother to greet me before instigating a fight. That’s unlike you.”</p>
<p>“How would you know what’s unlike me?” You spat.</p>
<p>“I loved you for months, I know what you’re like. After all, you had some qualities I was attracted to, though now I’m not sure what they were.” He grinned. </p>
<p>You rolled your eyes, balling your fists at your side. “I hope you know I have every intention of killing you right here and now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that won’t do. This is too public of a space. We’ll have to move somewhere more remote and private. Unless you want to be arrested. We’re going to have a battle to the death which needs to be done somewhere we can be alone.” </p>
<p>“What’s the point? I’m going to kill you before you have the chance to think. I’ll just hide the evidence.” </p>
<p>“Will you know?” He chuckled. “That’s highly unlikely. I wasn’t asking, I was telling.”</p>
<p>“I suppose I’ll allow it.” You began to run, seeking out an empty field where you could brawl with Chrollo. You ran on highways and backroads before you found an abandoned field. It was the perfect spot, the owner of the land was dead leaving it up for public use.</p>
<p>Adrenaline rushed through your veins; you wanted to fight Chrollo already. He was following close behind you before coming to a halt meters away from you. A shit-eating smile was plastered over his dorky face. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on you. </p>
<p>“This battle doesn’t end until one of us is dead?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” You closed the distance between the two of you in an instant, landing a punch on his jaw. You jumped backward, landing softly. </p>
<p>“Impressive.” He commented. He went out a sight, coming behind you. Before he could slice you with his knife, you moved out of the way. “You’ve gotten better,” He cut your arm before you realized it. </p>
<p>You could end this fight in mere minutes, yet you wanted to savour the moment. Savour the fight before Chrollo’s ultimate demise. You would crush the head of the spider. The Phantom Troupe would be no more, Phinks, and Franklin couldn’t restore it. Weak. That was what they were. Compared to Chrollo they had the strength of a toddler, though that was far from the case. <br/>You held yourself back. You could kill Chrollo in a hundred ways in a hundred seconds yet you didn’t. A small piece of you shouted and begged for you to keep Chrollo alive and restore your relationship. Who cares that he killed your mother for no reason other than he needed practice? You hadn’t known her for long. </p>
<p>You shook the thoughts from your head. If you killed Chrollo you would be free. Your mother’s control of your life slipping away.</p>
<p>You closed your eyes, you needed to go in and out grabbing what you needed before Chrollo had the opportunity to escape. The beach formed around you. You thought for a second before pulling out an object; your mother. She was the most powerful weapon in your arsenal, why not take advantage of that? </p>
<p>Shock shimmered across Chrollo’s face; Amarah, one of his victims was ready to exact her revenge upon him. Your mother’s voice boomed through the field.</p>
<p>
  <b>“CHROLLO LUCILFER IT IS TIME YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!”</b>
</p>
<p>She opened her mouth and let out the most ear-shattering scream she could manage. You couldn’t hear it as her hands covered your ears. The sound reached Chrollo. His eardrums burst, blood spilling out. He collapsed onto his knees with the force of her sound waves.</p>
<p>“Why?” Chrollo croaked as his bones shattered. His body crumpled in a sloppy mess on the ground. The weight of your actions had finally hit you, you ran over to his dead body.</p>
<p>“CHROLLO!” You shouted, grabbing his dismembered body in your arms. Tears flowed down your face, landing softly on his corpse. Regret coursed through you; you had loved Chrollo no matter how much you wanted to hate him. Why had you done this? Why had you avenged your mother’s murder? You didn’t know her. Your selfishness got in the way of your happiness.<br/>In another world, you would’ve been able to live happily with Chrollo. You could’ve been a member of the Troupe until your death. You ruined all of that; you killed the legs, you killed the head. You ended things once and for all.</p>
<p>What would your life be with the lack of Chrollo? You had gotten but a small glance into it over the last year. You hated it, there was no excitement, no flavour. You couldn’t live as lawyer when you were meant to be a criminal. It was your life’s purpose.</p>
<p>You and Chrollo were soulmates; both of you malicious and evil, two traits that shouldn’t go well together but do. You found comfort and peace in one another. You didn’t care about anyone else except each other. Though you had done many things to harm each other, you still had a connection that couldn’t be severed no matter what.</p>
<p>“This is what you wanted.” Your mother said before disappearing. She was wrong. This was not what you wanted. You only wanted to be with Chrollo until the end and that was the opposite of what you received. </p>
<p>You stepped away from Chrollo’s corpse, blood-stained your hands, and clothes. You looked like you had spent hours bathing in his blood. Your face was ruined; snot and tears covered the lower half of your face. </p>
<p>No longer did you belong on Earth, your purpose was ripped away from you. Things would never be the same because you couldn’t handle being haunted by your dead mother. Death you craved so desperately.</p>
<p>And so you ran to the rooftop of the highest hotel in the city. Your toes curled over the edge of the building as you braced yourself to fall. The wind blew your hair back, touching the back of your neck. Chills crawled up your spine.</p>
<p>It was time.</p>
<p>You jumped, feeling weightless as you fell. The air whished and whooshed around you, moving against your figure. You still had meters left until you hit the ground, time moved slower than usual. Did you regret this? No. It would bring you happiness.</p>
<p>You smacked against the pavement, slipping into death.</p>
<p>What was that conversation you and Chrollo had had all those months ago? The one about what happens after death. You had agreed upon the fact that you go where you want to after death. <br/>You wanted to be with Chrollo in death and that’s where you were.</p>
<p>“I’ve been waiting for you.” Chrollo smiled, dressed in an all-black ensemble. You grinned.</p>
<p>“I know you have, babe.” You sat on his lap, being engulfed by his warmth. At last, you found peace.</p>
<p>THE END</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story was really fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>reviews are appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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